


Broken Universe

by LadyNikita



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Electricity, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Priest's fucked up shenanigans, Psychological Torture, The Tags Will Be Updated Accordingly With The Chapters, Torture, kind of a slow burn?, oh and strong language at times, rated T just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-10 03:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20521283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNikita/pseuds/LadyNikita
Summary: (...) He collapsed onto his knees, sobbing. He couldn’t take it anymore. For the first time in his life he found friends, true friends and he has let them all down. In the worst way possible.“What of it, then?” He heard his own voice above him. He looked up and saw himself, in his yellow jacket, looking down at himself with pity.“What of what?” He asked inanely.“Of your life. Of your purpose, Dirk.”He looked around and shrugged. He didn’t know. Seriously didn’t know.“I guess-,” he looked around then went back to his own face above him. “I guess it’s the end.”“Oh no, Dirk.” The other him kneeled before him and took his hand in his. “No. It’s just the beginning.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii  
This one's short, for a sort of introduction I think.   
Warnings: Anxiety, panic attack. As always, if you need something else tagged, let me know!

She opened her eyes to find herself in the darkness. Actually, there was no difference, if she closed her eyes or kept them open; the darkness was all the same. It made her mad, made her want to scream and kill all the people who put her there. Kill him. But she gave up on screaming and yelling a long time ago. She's lost track of time, she's been there for all eternity and maybe a bit longer. Sometimes food would appear next to the door but there was only a quick sound announcing it; she ate in the same, deep darkness. She tried to open the door several times but it stayed closed. She cried and she screamed, begging the universe to forgive her for whatever she did, but the door would not open and she stayed in this black cage with nothing to do but to go mad.  
One thought kept nagging at her. Ken. Ken had betrayed her. How could he betray her like that? He said Blackwing was different than before. And yeah, he didn't lie, it was different - infinitely worse. With every passing moment the urge to go out there somehow and kill him was stronger and stronger. But she couldn't.  
She was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall, crying quietly into her hands. She remembered Panto and how he promised to teach her to dance one day. She remembered Wendimoor and missed it. She imagined how her life would look like, if she stayed there.  
She definitely wouldn't be going mad now.  
She knew no one was coming here. Ken probably somehow made sure that that door would not open under any circumstances, so she couldn't do anything to get out of here. Did he found a loophole in the universe to keep her here? She should have killed him when she had the chance. But now it was too late and she couldn't do what the universe wanted her to do. So she leaned her head back in resignation, praying for this madness to end soon.  
***  
Dirk couldn't sleep. It was a third night in a row when he couldn't fall asleep at all. Mona turned into the fluffiest pillow to kind of hug him to sleep, seeing his struggles, but it didn't help. There was a heavy feeling deep down in his chest, making him anxious but he couldn't quite grasp why. It just appeared sometime after they came back from Wendimoor and. Just stayed. Nay, kept getting worse. It was bearable for a while but now it kept him from sleeping and he needed to do something about it.   
He rolled over and groaned, as his heart rate picked up the pace unexpectedly. He felt his hands start shaking. He closed his eyes and felt his breathing become quick and shallow. He felt tears in his eyes. He blinked them away, but the anxiety only grew stronger. What was happening? Was he dying? It definitely felt like he was about to die.  
Mona must have noticed something was wrong, because she turned into a cat and started purring in hopes of calming Dirk down. He managed a faint smile but he still couldn't stop his hands from shaking. The pressure in his stomach was getting unbearable, he felt like he was going to be sick. He sit up and crossed his arms tightly, shaking all over. Mona bumped her furry head on his arm and meowed but Dirk didn't react. She then jumped off the bed and ran to Todd's room to wake him up. It took a while to do so, but soon enough he followed her to Dirk's room to see Dirk rocking back and forth and shaking heavily.  
"Hey, Dirk- Dirk, you're okay." He sat down beside him and put his arm around him. "What's going on?"  
Even if Dirk had an answer, he wouldn't be able to say it. It seemed like he'd forgotten how to produce sound. He was terrified, he didn't know what's going on and flashbacks from Blackwing started to haunt him. He remembered feeling like this. He remembered the screams. The electric shocks. The beatings.   
He shut his eyes, squeezing out tears. He started sobbing and mumbling, the only coherent thought that was in his mind was "No, please, not this again."  
Todd hugged Dirk gently and rubbed his shoulders, muttering calming words. He looked at Mona desperately, looking for some help as to what has happened to put Dirk in this state. She just meowed. She jumped onto the bed and curled up next to Dirk, trying to provide him with more comfort.   
After a while Dirk calmed down. He still had his eyes closed shut and his face covered with his hands, but he seemed to have listened to Todd's advice how to regulate his breathing and it seemed to have helped.   
"Are- Are you real?" Dirk asked quietly. Todd looked at him with worry.   
"Yes, Dirk. I'm real. I promise."  
"Am I- Can you promise I'm not back there?" He whispered.  
"Back there- Dirk, you're safe in your home, you're not at Blackwing anymore," he assured him as his heart sank at the proof of just how much he has suffered in the facility. "I definitely can promise that."  
Dirk focused on his breathing for a moment.   
Todd carefully placed his hand on Dirk's. "Can you open your eyes?"  
Dirk swallowed and slowly nodded. Todd caught his hand in his and took his arms off of his face. Dirk blinked and looked Todd in the eyes.   
"You're safe now. It's all over. You're fine." Todd whispered, squeezing his hand. Mona looked at them and climbed onto Dirk's lap and curled up into a ball there.  
"Thank you, Todd, I," Dirk lowered his gaze, "I don't know what happened."  
"I'm pretty sure you had a panic attack," Todd said. "Was that a first for you?"  
"No, I- I had them back there," Dirk shook his head. "But never after. Not- not like this. Not this intense."  
"Was it a nightmare?" Todd asked after a beat.  
"No," Dirk stroked Mona's back with his free hand. "Couldn't sleep."  
"That's like- a third time now," Todd was now very worried. "What's going on?"  
"I don't know," Dirk looked at him. "Something's wrong with the universe. I can feel that much. But that's it. And it won't let me rest until I fix it."  
"But- How can you fix it if you don't know what's wrong?"   
Dirk sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again and looked at Todd, there was a shade of his usual excitement, now dimmed with exhaustion.  
"We need to solve the case."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, fainting and violence I guess. Let me know if you need something else tagged!

Todd insisted on staying in Dirk’s room to keep an eye on him and make sure he’s okay, so he brought his pillow and covers and laid down on the floor. Dirk suggested he’d scoot over making him some space on the bed but Todd refused, saying he was just fine there; Dirk wasn’t sure if it was just his tired imagination playing with him or if he saw a blush on Todd’s cheeks at the suggestion.   
Dirk managed to fall asleep as Mona curled up next to his head and lulled him to sleep with her purring and the steady breathing from Todd nearby assuring him he was safe.  
He didn’t get to rest for long though. Soon enough a nightmare crept into his mind and he woke up in cold sweat. He sat up and took a couple of deep breaths. He noticed that Mona had disappeared somewhere and that sunshine was peeking through the blinds, so at least the night was over. He glanced at Todd sleeping on his side, facing the wall and smiled involuntarily.   
He made his way to the kitchen to notice a bunch of sunflowers in a vase that weren’t there before. The leaves waved, despite the lack of draught.   
“Good morning, Mona,” he said sleepily and put on the kettle.   
He sat down on the couch with the hot mug in his hands, trying to ignore the anxious feeling drilling his intestines. He put on the TV, not being able to stand the silence, but not too loud as to not wake Todd. He leaned back and sighed deeply.  
Normally, he would get hunches and feelings about what to do next, what the universe needed him to do. Even if sometimes he felt clueless, the feeling, however vague and distant, would be there, somewhere. Now there was nothing. He felt empty and therefore alone. He knew something was wrong, very wrong, but he was completely blind as to what to do. He never felt this hopeless and lonely.   
He spent the next two hours thoughtlessly staring at the TV and whatever was on (he didn’t really pay attention). What woke him up from this kind of trance was Todd coming into the living room.   
“Hey, Dirk,” he said and yawned. Automatically, he grabbed the first mug from the cupboard, put it in the coffee machine and pushed the button for a double black coffee. “How are you feeling?”  
Dirk looked at him.   
“Never better,” he said with a faint laugh.  
“I’m serious,” Todd crossed his arms; he looked worried. “Did you get any sleep?”  
“A bit but I had a nightmare so I got up like… two hours ago,” he shrugged.  
“Sorry to hear that,” Todd sipped his coffee and turned to grab a loaf of bread. “Care for some breakfast?”  
“Already ate,” Dirk said, turning his gaze back to the TV, not noticing the look Todd gave him.  
Todd managed to eat his sandwich and finish his coffee when they heard the door to the office downstairs open and someone bustling about.   
“Oh, Farah is here!” Dirk suddenly hopped up from the couch and raced downstairs. Todd followed him with his gaze and sighed, put the dishes in the sink and turned off the TV before heading there too.   
It took Farah one look at Dirk to know something was not right. He indeed looked a bit more ruffled than usual and he had dark bags under his eyes. He quickly explained the situation.   
“So,” he gesticulated, “we need to solve this case.”  
She frowned.  
“But wait… what _exactly_ is the case here?” She asked.  
“The broken universe!” Dirk exclaimed as if it was something obvious. “Weren’t you listening? We need to fix the universe.”  
She sat down at her desk, looking at him confused.   
“But- but _how_ do you want to fix the- the _universe_??”  
“Well,” Dirk clucked his tongue, “I don’t know yet. But that’s an excellent question, Farah.”  
Todd sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. “We can start by searching if anything bizarre has been happening?” He suggested.   
“Yes!” Dirk snapped his fingers and pointed at him with both of his hands. “We can do that. That’s a thing. We are able to do. That might help us.”  
“Are you okay?” Todd frowned.   
“Yes, Todd, I am perfectly okay now,” Dirk grinned and pulled up a chair for himself to sit next to Todd. “We’re surely back on track.”  
Well, at least Dirk hoped they were. He still felt empty and blind and tried to catch anything to pull him back into the flow. He couldn’t feel anything and his first instinct was to give up; but he couldn’t, not at the very start of the case. So he tried to keep his spirits up and pretend he knew what he was doing for as long as it takes for his… abilities or whatever it was to turn back on.  
Farah called Tina and Hobbs to check if anything weird was happening there while Todd and Dirk searched for strange events on the internet. Three hours passed and they’ve found nothing.   
“This is pointless,” Farah said, leaning back in her chair. “We can search like this for hours and we won’t find anything. Don’t you,” she turned to Dirk, “feel anything?”  
He sighed and shook his head. “It’s not-,”  
“-how it works, yeah,” Farah finished and nodded, disappointed.   
“I wish it would, though,” Todd sighed. “We could use some- Holistic guidance or something.”  
Dirk made a face. He couldn’t agree more.   
“I think,” he said after a while, a little irritated that his abilities don’t seem to cooperate, “we should just- go out and see what happens.”  
“Out, you mean- Outside? Just like that?” Todd frowned. “That’s stupid, Dirk- how is that gonna work?”  
“I don’t know, Todd, but do you have any better idea??” He snapped, stood up and faced the window. “It’s the bloody universe we’re talking about here! If it needs me to fix something, maybe it will throw the solution at me somewhere out there, I don’t know!! But I need to do _something_!”  
Silence. Dirk turned around to Todd with a softer expression.  
“Todd, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you-,”  
“No, it’s okay,” Todd shook his head and got up too. “You’re tired. Let’s- let’s do your thing then.”  
“Okay,” Dirk said quietly, looking at Todd apologetically. He reached for one of his jackets but a yellow one slithered onto his shoulders. “Oh, of course you can go too, Mona,” he answered an unspoken question and put the jacket on.   
He noticed how tired he was. Every movement cost him much more energy than normally. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, waiting for Todd to get ready and ignoring his stomach that kept reminding him of its emptiness.   
“I’m gonna stay here,” Farah said. “In case anyone comes here or something.”  
“Good idea,” Todd nodded to her and touched Dirk’s arm. He opened his eyes. “You good to go?”  
“Me? Yes. Of course.” He blinked and followed Todd outside.   
They wandered around the streets nearby for the next hour and nothing happened. Dirk suddenly stopped in a completely ordinary, nondistinctive spot on the street.   
“What?” Todd asked desperately. “Do you feel something?”  
“I’m not- a radar, Todd,” Dirk said, going for his usual patronizing tone, but it came out kind of faint. “I just need to-,”  
He reached his hand to lean on the wall, as the world around started to spin. He closed his eyes. There was a hole in his stomach that seemed to be eating him from the inside. He felt sweat on his skin.   
“Dirk, are you okay?” Todd’s voice sounded distant. Muffled.   
“I’m- I just-,” he tried to say something, but he didn’t really know what. He just needed a minute and everything would be fi-  
He collapsed, Todd grabbed him in the last second so he didn’t hit his head on the pavement.   
“Dirk! Hey, what’s going on?” Todd sat him up by the wall. Dirk mumbled something incomprehensibly. He blinked and looked at Todd.  
“I’m sorry, I must have- how you say it- fainted or- something,” he made a face as his stomach rumbled.   
“Wait- Did you really eat breakfast today?” Todd asked suspiciously.  
“Traitor belly,” Dirk sighed. Todd rolled his eyes.   
“You can’t do that, Dirk, you’re already weakened by the lack of sleep! You need to eat-,”  
“I know, I know, it’s just hard when I feel so-,” he looked around, “anxious all the time.”  
“I know, but-,” Todd started but Dirk shushed him.   
“Listen!”  
Todd froze but he heard nothing. “I don’t hear anything-”  
“Exactly!” Dirk whispered. “Where’s the cars? Where’s the traffic?”  
Todd stood up and looked around. The street they were on wasn’t a main one, but it wasn’t completely empty often either. He noticed military cars a few hundred meters down the road.  
“Shit, I think we’re in trouble,” Todd said.  
“Todd.” Dirk called him faintly and caught his hand. “Todd. Look.”  
Todd turned around and saw another military car with a harsh looking man with a huge scar along his face waving at them. He was smiling, but there was no happiness in this smile. He planted ice in Todd’s heart. “Who’s…”  
“Priest.” Todd looked at Dirk, hearing the sheer terror in his voice. He was white as a sheet, his hand was sweaty and cold, and he was staring at the man like a deer in the headlights.  
“Dirk, don’t panic, we can- we’re gonna be fine.” Todd squeezed his hand reassuringly, even though his words were redundant; they both knew there was no way for them to get out of this. They were surrounded and widely outnumbered.   
“Svlad Cjelli!” Priest called out. The car stopped and he hopped onto the ground, wielding a pistol. Behind him stood five men in black uniforms, holding shotguns, aimed at them. “What a pleasure seeing you again.”  
Dirk shook his head. “Mm, no. No.”  
Todd, as discreetly as he could, reached to the back pocket of his jeans and slid his fingers into the brass knuckles. As useless against guns as they were, they were the only hope for any defence.   
“You’re not taking him back to Blackwing,” Todd stated loudly. Priest laughed.   
“And you’re going to stop us?” He tilted his head. “Go on.”  
He switched off the safety on his pistol and aimed it at Todd, who clenched his fingers around the brass knuckles.   
“Todd, you should go,” Dirk said under his breath. “I can distract them and you can escape-“  
“Are you kidding me, I’m not leaving you alone,” Todd shot a glance at him. “We’re not giving up, Dirk. I’m not gonna leave you.”  
“Shit, this is so sweet, I didn’t know we had tickets to a soap opera!” Priest laughed manically. “Will you go on your own, Svlad, or do you need our help?”  
“I told you, you’re not taking him,” Todd repeated. “You know it’s not how his powers work, you can’t keep him locked up!”  
“Oh, we sure can, sweetie,” Priest took a couple steps towards them. “And we will. Now step aside.”  
Todd held onto Dirk’s hand. He didn’t have a plan but he knew he won’t just let them take Dirk. Not again.  
“No.”  
Priest chuckled.   
“I hoped you’d say that.”  
But he didn’t shoot. He turned his head and put a finger to his ear, apparently listening to something. He raised his eyebrows.  
“Are you sure, though?” He rolled his eyes at the answer. He sighed and shrugged and then lowered the pistol a bit and shot at Todd’s leg. Todd screamed and fell on the ground.   
“Todd!” Dirk straightened up but Priest’s men were already there, grabbing them. He saw Priest hitting Todd in the face. He tried to fight but he was way too weak. He stopped when he felt dizzy again.   
Priest touched his face and made him look up at him.   
“We’ll play together later, right?” He winked. “It’s gonna be just like the old times!” He laughed and nodded at the men to put them in the car.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Anxiety and mention of panic. As usual, let me know if something else should be here!

It was already past 6 p.m. and Farah started to get worried. Dirk and Todd should have been back a long time ago. She tried calling them but neither picked up. She tried calling again. And again.   
She took a deep breath. She shouldn’t panic. Right? Maybe they found something. Maybe they’re in a hole somewhere, in another death maze. Maybe they’re in another dimension. Maybe they’re already dead.  
She stood up and started to pace.   
“They would definitely call me if they found something. Right? Right,” she muttered under her nose. “So it means, they didn’t find anything. Which means, they probably aren’t in danger. Probably. Unless something found them. Then they probably are in danger.”  
She sat down on a chair and rubbed her face with her hands. She decided to wait an hour more and then go looking for them.  
And so she did, as Dirk and Todd did not show up in the meantime.   
She put on her coat and locked the agency. She turned around and almost screamed.  
In front of her was a massive, tall, white man with a black leather jacket, lots of tattoos and jewellery. She quickly reached for her gun, but the guy capably threw it from her hand, grabbed her arms and pinned her against the door. His face was way too close to hers for her standards.  
“Are you Farah Black?” He asked with a low voice. She frowned.  
“Who are you?” She answered, looking him angrily in the eyes.   
“Are you Farah Black?” He repeated and pinned her harder.  
“Wait- aren’t you one of the guys that- that saved Todd and Dirk from the cellar back at the Ridgley?” She looked him up and down.   
The guy frowned.  
“Martin! I told you it wasn’t necessary!” Farah noticed a van behind him and Amanda getting out of it.   
“Amanda?!” She asked in a complete surprise.   
“Let her go, it’s definitely her,” she touched Martin’s arm. He let go of Farah and nodded to Amanda.   
“Sorry, drummer girl, I just need to make sure it’s safe. There’s something weird happening,” he bumped her shoulder and climbed into the van.   
“Farah, I’m sorry about this,” Amanda said, as Farah picked up her gun and hid it. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she shook her head and looked around. “What’s happening?”  
“The guys feel something weird in the air. I wanted to talk to Dirk,” she said and her eyes went up, onto the windows of Dirk and Todd’s apartment.   
“Uh, well, then you’re unlucky,” Farah rubbed her neck. “They left the agency a couple of hours ago and they still haven’t shown up. I’m starting to worry something happened.”  
“Where did they go?” Amanda took out her phone and dialled Todd’s number. Farah noticed he was still on her speed-dial.   
“They’re not picking up. Dirk had a weird feeling too. Said something about the universe being broken, or something.”  
The call went straight to voicemail and Amanda sighed.   
“The universe being broken?” She asked, then she bit her lip. “Farah, I- I had visions. There was Blackwing and lots of darkness… Do you think it means something?”  
“Blackwing?” She asked and pondered. “Dirk said there was a new supervisor when he came back from Wendimoor, but-,” she fell quiet.  
“But what?” Amanda prompted. Farah’s expression changed; she looked fearful.  
“Holy shit. Could they have taken them in?” Farah asked.  
“I don’t know,” Amanda looked around. “I’ll try to trigger more visions, maybe they’ll explain something more.”  
“Okay. I’m gonna go look around for them. Hopefully, I’m wrong. Take care of yourself, Amanda,” she said while adjusting her gun in the holster.   
“You too. Call, if you need anything.”  
Farah watched her climb back into the van and drive down the road.   
She had no idea where to even start. It did not help that Dirk went out of the building with the sole plan of “going wherever his legs take him” and hoping something would happen. She walked around the neighbourhood for a while but she didn’t see any sign of them. She stopped, leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. Where would Dirk go?   
The night was falling quickly and the street lamps lit with their yellow light. She hopelessly looked around and something glistering under the wall caught her eye. She came closer and kneeled.  
“Ah, _shit_,” she muttered, picking up Todd’s brass knuckles. She remembered exactly how they looked like when she had given them to him, so she could recognize them immediately. “Something bad happened here.”  
***   
Todd woke up with an excruciating pain in his leg. He groaned and opened his eyes. First thing he saw was a white ceiling. He laid in a bed and as far as he could tell, everything around was white.  
“Good morning,” he heard a somewhat familiar voice. “Or rather, good evening. It’s already late, isn’t it.”  
Todd sat up to see the man that accompanied Bart when they were working the Spring case. Ken.   
“You. What are you doing here? Why are you in Blackwing? Why am I here? Where’s Dirk-”  
“Easy, easy,” Ken raised his hand and laughed, but the smile did not reach his eyes. “Don’t worry about Svlad. He’s in good hands now, where he’s supposed to be.”  
“Here is _not_ where he’s supposed to be,” Todd raised his voice.  
“Agree to disagree,” Ken shrugged. “Anyways. We brought you here because we believe you might be a vital part of the research we conduct.”  
“And how’s that?” Todd asked emotionlessly.  
“Look,” Ken looked down into his papers and leaned forward, “Todd, I’m gonna be honest with you. You care about Svlad-“  
“Dirk.”  
“Dirk, and I care about what he can do and how it can help the world.” He paused, seeing the resistance forming on Todd’s face. He was patient.   
“That’s not how it works. He’s helping the world, out there. He can’t do it here.”  
“No, he can’t, but he can do much greater things than just solving small mysteries!” Ken looked Todd in the eyes. “Blackwing is different now, Todd. We’re focusing on expanding the abilities he already has. Because project Icarus has not yet risen to the heights of his potential.”  
“You- do know what happened to Icarus, right?” Todd pointed out and Ken rolled his eyes.   
“You know it’s a metaphor.”   
“Well, maybe it’s a good metaphor and if he does something that he shouldn’t then something goes bad?” Todd raised his hands.  
“You’re reading too much into it,” Ken laid back in his chair. “Bottom line is, we all want to help Dirk. Don’t you agree?”  
“Not in the slightest,” Todd looked around. “You locked us in a secret government facility!”  
Ken sighed.   
“It’s all unimportant details. You can’t see the bigger picture here. We’re doing something important.”  
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Why are you suddenly on Blackwing’s side anyway?”   
“There are no sides, Todd,” Ken said almost gently. “Everyone’s just doing what they deem right. And this,” Ken waved vaguely at the facility, “is for the greater good.”  
“Greater good?” Todd repeated in disbelief.  
“We’ve made incredible discoveries since you left Wendimoor,” Ken informed him. “It’s technically a classified information but I choose to tell you this. We discovered substances that cannot be produced anywhere on Earth. Project Moloch, faced with a huge amount of pressure and fear, created a _whole_ universe, completely different from ours. Can you even imagine what other subjects can do?”  
Todd couldn’t find any words that would fit as a response.   
“I’m gonna leave you with this,” Ken got up and put the chair back under the wall, “Think about what I said. Maybe you’ll see that everything that we do here, we do for humanity.”  
And he left. The automatic door closed behind him, leaving Todd in a dimly lit white room with security cameras invariably staring at him.  
***   
When Dirk opened his eyes and looked at the ever-so-familiar ceiling, his first thought was that the Cardenas’ case and Wendimoor and the agency was a dream and he never left the facility. That thought pulled him right into a panic-like state but he managed to calm down and the memories cleared up enough for him to differentiate them from dreams.  
He looked around. He was definitely back in his usual room. He immediately hated the use of the word “usual” in his mind; he definitely did not want this place to become a usual anything in his life. He did notice though that all of his clothes were gone – including Mona. He was wearing his old grey jumpsuit with orange stripe and the symbol of “Project Icarus”.   
He sat in the bed, staring at the liquid in the drip feed connected to his wrist. He made a face.   
He had to admit though, physically, he felt a lot better. He didn’t know how much time he slept, but the IV did serve its purpose. He even didn’t notice the anxious feeling in his gut. Was the universe okay now, that he was locked up again? No, he couldn’t believe that.   
He laid his head back on his pillow and closed his eyes. He felt sleepy. He should be worrying about Mona. He should be worrying especially about Todd and what they’ve done to him. But… for the first time in three days he finally felt relaxed. Finally could rest. He couldn’t bring himself to worry. He’s done his share of worrying. Let someone else do it for now.   
A small part of his conscious mind drew a conclusion that he most likely had been drugged. He nodded. Yeah. That would make sense. He sighed deeply and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Electrocuting, mentions of cannibalism and suicide.

They took Dirk to a brightly lit room with a table and a chair. He was left alone in front of a big mirror, which he suspected was venetian glass. In absence of anything better to do, he sat down on the chair and noticed four separate small pieces of paper on the table. Each one had a different noun on it. “Blind sailor.” “Seaside restaurant.” “Pelican.” “Suicide.” There was also a bigger, empty paper sheet and a pencil.  
Dirk emotionlessly looked up at the glass. “What am I supposed to do with this?”  
No one answered. He sighed. He looked at each piece of paper and shrugged.   
“Look, I know someone’s there,” he said to the glass. “I’ve told you a million times before. I can’t just _make_ it work when you want me to.”  
He expected a zap of electricity or at least some sort of punishment, but nothing happened.   
_ “If you focus, you can connect these four things. Can you try it?” _ A voice rose from the speakers. It seemed kind of familiar but Dirk couldn’t quite connect it to a specific person.   
“Well, I’m sorry if I can’t quite focus, you’ve shot and kidnapped my best friend!” Dirk leaned forward. “What have you done with him?”  
_ “Todd Brotzman is safe and sound_,” the voice said. “He’s resting in one of the guest rooms. His wound has been taken care of and, as I’ve been just informed, he’s currently reading a book.”   
Dirk frowned. Guest rooms?  
“Why are you keeping him here?”   
_ “Well, that’s uh- classified, I believe. But I think he’s supposed to help the research somehow.” _  
“He has no powers, though,” Dirk shook his head. “He shouldn’t be here. Please, let him go.”  
_ “I can’t do that. Orders from on high.” _  
Dirk bit his lip and looked down desperately.  
“Will I be able to see him?” He turned back up to the glass, his eyebrows rippled.  
_ “In due time, yes.” _  
He took a deep breath and returned to the pieces of paper.   
“Blind sailor, a restaurant… Can I ask questions?”  
_ “You have four closed-end questions.” _  
“Okay,” he sighed. “Was the man born blind?”  
_ “No.” _  
“So… he lost his eyesight. He was a sailor, so I guess there was an accident at the sea? He’s in the water. Probably not alone, otherwise he wouldn’t survive. So, someone saves him. They have to find land, or another ship. If he lost his eyesight, then someone else is probably hurt too. Did other people save them?”  
_ “No.” _  
“So no other ship. So they had to find land. And they were alone. Two or three people in total. One is blind. Someone else is hurt. They have nothing to eat and probably too much time to wait. So they eat a pelican. And then, I don’t know, make smoke signs for others to find them. They go back to the restaurant and what. Kill themselves?” Dirk rubbed his face. “It doesn’t make sense.”  
He went quiet for a while, analysing in his head.  
“Did they order a pelican at the restaurant?” He asked.  
_ “Yes.” _  
“So they ate a pelican again… Unless,” he frowned, looking vaguely into the air. “The first time, it wasn’t a pelican. It was something that would be so, so bad, that would make the man-” Dirk breathed in suddenly, hitting the table with his hands. “Solved it!” He looked at the glass. “I solved it!”  
_ “Can you explain what happened?” _  
Dirk couldn’t stop a smile from forming on his face.   
“A sailor lost his eyesight in an accident on his ship. He and a couple of his friends that were saved from the ship found a piece of land, an isle or something and decided to wait for rescue. But to survive the wait, they needed something to eat. There was nothing eatable nearby, but one of them was already dying. So they agreed to finish his suffering and eat him. Unfortunately, he was the blind man’s best friend. Since he couldn’t see what the dinner served actually was, they told him it was a pelican they’d hunted. Then the rescue came. The blind man went to a restaurant where pelicans were served and decided to go on a memory trip or something and ordered a pelican. But to his despair, it tasted nothing like what he ate at the sea. He then connected the facts and realized the truth, which drove him to suicide.”  
Dirk leaned back in his chair, savouring the victorious silence.  
_ “Nicely done, Icarus,” _ the voice said after a while. _ “You’re free to rest now.” _  
“Can I see Todd?” He asked, remembering his reality and going down from the euphoria of solving a case which, as a matter of fact, wasn’t technically a case.   
He didn’t get an answer though. The men in uniforms entered the room to transport him back to his room without a single word of comment.   
***   
In the meantime Todd was indeed reading a book. No one was visiting him and he already checked the room twice for any possible escape routes or weapons. He found nothing and all the walking around only made his shot wound hurt more. He noticed the blood seeping through the bandage so he decided to stay on the bed and let it rest. He found a book on the nightstand, which turned out to be the first part of Lord of the Rings. Weird thing to find in the Blackwing facility, he shrugged, albeit he had no idea whatsoever what should be considered a weird thing to find in a top secret government facility somewhere in the middle of nowhere.  
He busied himself with reading for quite a while. Hadn’t had read the book in ages, he got quite into it, recalling his teen, secret fascination with Frodo. It was a secret, since as a one with an edgy reputation, he shouldn’t technically concern himself with such nerdy things. Amanda had actually discovered that fascination after a while and, to Todd’s utter horror, she had started calling him Frodo from time to time. She had said that they look similarly; which Todd could not wrap his head around. He did not see a resemblance.  
Suddenly he heard the door to his room open and two men in black uniforms and sunglasses entered. One of them was bald, the other had black, short hair and a scar on his cheek.  
“We’re escorting you to the exercise,” the bald one informed him.  
Todd raised his eyebrows at the redundant sunglasses. They did look cool though.   
“What kind of an exercise?” He asked suspiciously.   
“You’ll see.” The bald one made his way to his bed and passed him a crutch that had been leaning against the wall. Todd wondered if he should say thanks, but decided not to, since they were the men that had shot him in the first place. He made a face and followed them out of the room, not having much of a choice.   
The corridors were, as expected, white and brightly lit. The walls were empty, with faint scratches here and there, the parget ran down on the edges. They took left at the first turn and then immediately right; walked straight for a while and entered a wider corridor that apparently was one of the main ones. Todd could get a peek at the offices and laboratories through glass walls; he also spotted a couple of people with white coats. It made him weirdly uncomfortable.   
“We’re gonna have to blindfold you now,” spoke the bald man. Todd shrugged as they tied a black handkerchief on his eyes. He felt a hand on his back softly pressuring him to go forward.   
They walked the corridor for a while and Todd could hear muffled conversations. Suddenly he heard a beep from behind him.   
_ “Where are you? Icarus is ready.” _  
“We’re on our way,” the man guiding him said.  
Icarus?, Todd thought, tensing up. That’s Dirk. He was a bit scared to think what was going to happen next. What was the exercise? Why was he needed there? What will they make Dirk do?  
After a couple of turns, which Todd made a mental note to remember for future, they stopped and he heard a beep of a card. The door before them opened and the man pushed him in. He sat him down on a chair, which turned out to be reclined. He ended up half lying, like at the dentist. That struck him with fear. It could not be good. Especially that the next thing he felt was them strapping his arms and legs to the chair.   
“What are you doing?” He asked, trying and failing to hide the fear in his voice. Of course, he didn’t get an answer.   
One of the men took his blindfold off, exposing him to white, bright light, which blinded his for a while. When his eyes adjusted to it, the door after them closed and he was alone in the room. Besides the chair he was in, there was a simple, wooden table in the middle of the room with some papers on it. On one of the walls there was a huge mirror, which could only be venetian glass, like in the interrogation rooms in police precincts. There was also a clock that ticked mercilessly. When Todd looked at the ground, he saw lots of cables going from the walls to the chair he was in and suddenly he knew what was ahead of him. He swallowed. How the hell was that supposed to “help the research”?  
He tried the straps on his arms with as much strength as he could muster but they did not give in. He sighed and leaned his head back, adrenaline coursing through his body. The door opened again and the men pushed Dirk in. He had the jumpsuit on, the same one that he had when they found him in Bergsberg.   
“Dirk!” Todd exclaimed, trying the straps again.   
“Todd?” Dirk made his way to the chair, looking at Todd with anxiety. “Are you alright?”  
“Considering I’m in some kind of an electric chair – not really,” Todd looked around. They were alone. “What’s going on?”  
“I’m afraid I know,” Dirk groaned, looking at the table. “And I’m not liking it.”  
_ “Welcome to the exercise two.” _ Todd recognised Ken’s voice. He looked at Dirk. _ “Your task is simple – answer the questions on the table. This time, you don’t get any hints.” _  
“What does Todd have to do with this?” Dirk asked, but no one answered. “The previous guy was nicer,” he muttered and picked up the first piece of paper.  
_#15. Three men enter a room, but only two walk out. The room is empty. Where is the third man? _  
Dirk frowned and looked at Todd.   
“What does it say?” Todd asked.  
“It’s, uh- A lateral puzzle,” Dirk answered, visibly anxious. “What if I give a wrong answer?”  
Silence. Dirk took a deep breath and bit his lip, tapping a rhythm with his fingers on the table.   
“Hey, Dirk,” Todd spoke up, not sure at all of what he was about to say. “It’s gonna be fine.”  
He knew it wasn’t. But he couldn’t imagine what Dirk must have been going through, being here the third time and being asked these stupid questions again. He wanted to somehow let him know he wasn’t alone this time. They would make it work. Somehow. Hopefully.  
Dirk nodded quietly and licked his lips.   
“Three men enter the room but only two of them walk out. The room is empty. So the third man jumps out the window.”  
Dirk looked expectantly at the glass.  
_ “Wrong.” _  
Todd felt the chair start to vibrate and screamed at a brief electrical zap. It wasn’t the worst one in his life; if he was to rank the instances in which he ended up being electrocuted, this one would probably be quite low on the list; but the experience, even if lasting a second, is never a pleasant surprise.   
Dirk was looking at him terrified.   
_ “Try again.” _  
“So this is what happens,” Dirk whispered, pop-eyed.   
***   
Farah let Amanda into the agency just after she got there herself. They exchanged information – apparently Amanda had another vision, depicting more darkness and screaming, but also electric pulses and Dirk in Blackwing jumpsuit, so it was pretty obvious that Farah’s theory checked out.  
“Okay, so like,” Amanda sat on the kitchen counter with a cup of tea in her hand, “what are we supposed to do?”  
The Rowdy 3 looked at each other.   
“For the one time,” said Cross, looking cross, “I understand what’s happening. And I’m not likin’ it one bit.”  
“Bit,” squawked Beast, who until now was sitting on the floor by the door, stood up and looked around. “Bibit!”  
She went around, sniffing things, looking a bit blue.   
“Would you be able to locate the Blackwing facility?” Farah opened her computer at her desk.  
“Yeah, I know where it is,” Martin made his way to her and found it on Google Maps. “Not far.”  
“Okay,” Farah breathed deeply. “We need a plan.”  
“Stoom ba buh!” Beast contributed, hitting her palm with her fist. Farah looked at her with a grain of salt. “Beatsy boy beats da buh!”  
“We can’t just attack them!” Amanda apparently understood, having had practiced communication with Beast. “There’s like, a whole army of them.”  
“Yeah, a whole army!” Gripps threw his hands in the air, knocking a lamp over. Farah rolled her eyes.   
“We need a solid, thought-out plan for sneaking in and sneaking out with Todd and Dirk. And Mona,” she added after a moment of thought. “I think. I don’t know where she is.”  
“We need plans of the building then,” Amanda said. “How do we get them?”  
“I can-,” Farah started typing something quickly on her computer. “I _think_ I can break into my brother’s database. Although it is very illegal and he will _never_ forgive me for this if he finds out, but- how would he find out- why would he find out? It’s not like we’ve been going by the book on any case we’ve been on-“  
“Farah,” Amanda put her hand on her shoulder. “Just do it, okay?”  
“Yeah,” she nodded eagerly.  
***   
They’ve been at it for two hours now. The steady tick of the clock was unnerving and every time he’d get an answer wrong, Todd would be electrocuted. He tried just not answering, but after five minutes of silence they just electrocuted him anyway. He guessed the answers to two questions out of five on the table. They were pure guesses and the longer this went on, the harder it was for him to focus. Todd wasn’t in a great state. His muscles were twitching at random and he could barely keep his eyes open anymore.   
Dirk looked at the piece of paper in his hand and shook his head.   
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “This question doesn’t even make sense.”  
A shock for Todd. Dirk groaned and rubbed his face helplessly.  
“Would you stop? This is pointless!” He shot a glance at Todd. His head was laying limply and his eyes were closed. “Todd? Todd!” He ran up to him and touched his arms. Todd opened his eyes with effort and groaned.   
“Is it over?” He whispered.  
“_Shit_, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-“  
“Dirk- Dirk. Not your fault,” Todd shook his head and sighed. “Not your fault.”  
“But-,” he started but the voice in the speakers, that Dirk recognized to be the guy from the previous session, interrupted him.   
_ “A break in the exercise. Wait here.” _  
Dirk looked at the glass. Obviously nothing changed in the way it looked. He waited a while and proceeded to unstrap Todd. Nothing or no one stopped him. He helped him get out of the chair and sat him down on the floor under the wall. Todd relaxed and leaned back, his muscles still twitching uncontrollably. Dirk instinctively took his hand into his.  
“How are you feeling?” He asked quietly.  
Todd looked at him from under his half-closed eyelids.  
“I’m sorry,” Dirk looked down and chuckled without humour. “Stupid question, right?”  
Todd shrugged and shook his head.   
Dirk examined his face for a while.  
“I mean it,” he spoke now seriously. “I’m really sorry. You should never have been at Blackwing. You should never-“  
“Hey,” Todd squeezed his hand. “We can’t change what happened. We’re not- doing this again. You’re my friend. Dirk. This is- this is my life now.”  
Dirk’s face contorted with pain.   
“I’m sorry,” he looked down. They stayed like this on the floor for a while, enjoying a moment without pressure. Todd’s muscles stopped acting up on their own and everything seemed like it was going to be okay from now on.  
“Shit,” Todd muttered suddenly. “Shit, shit, shit.”  
“What?” Dirk looked at him worriedly. “What’s going on?”  
Todd took his now shaking hand from Dirk’s and looked at it with fear.  
“Not now...”  
“Oh no,” Dirk looked around looking for, well, he didn’t know himself; obviously they didn’t have Todd’s medication here. “What do I do? What should I do?”  
Todd started hyperventilating when his hands caught on fire. He rolled them into fists and, screaming, curled up onto Dirk’s lap, hiding his face in his clothes. He started sobbing with pain, hitting the floor with his fist. Dirk hugged him, rubbing his back, trying to somehow help him return back to reality.   
“It’s okay, you’re okay,” he said into his ear, trying to sound calm. “It’s gonna be over soon, you’re okay.”  
Todd stopped screaming and his breathing slowed down. Dirk helped him raise his head to see him half conscious. “Todd-?”  
Before he could do anything else, Todd went limp in his arms.  
“Help!” He shouted towards the window, hoping that somehow, someone was still there. “Please, we need help here!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Panic, psychological torture, shooting.

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “This question doesn’t even make sense.”  
Ken raised his eyebrows at the stubbornness in Icarus’ voice. “Shock him again,” he said flatly.  
A grimace of anger flashed through Icarus’ face.   
“Would you stop? This is pointless!” He exclaimed.  
“Sir,” Lieutenant Assistent slipped, drawing Ken’s attention. “I think- I think that Project Helios has had enough for today.”  
Ken glanced at Helios’ vital signs floating dangerously close to critically low and opened his mouth to answer but he was stopped by a voice in his earpiece.   
_ “Sir, we have a problem with Project Marzanna.” _  
He touched the earpiece, enabling the microphone. “Status report.”  
_ “She appears to be, uh- beating up the walls. And, uh- succeeding.” _  
Ken opened his mouth again, but the voice continued: _ “There’s a high breach probability.” _  
“I’m on my way,” he said to the earpiece and turned to Assistent. “Deal with them.”  
He crossed the distance to Marzanna’s chamber in a quick pace, though not running. Last thing he wanted was for his subordinates to see him in a haste. He characterized himself as collected and calm; there was no need to rush for everything was going according to his plan as of now.   
He entered the control room to see Bart- To see Project Marzanna bumping her whole body at the walls and actually deforming them. He squinted his eyes.   
“Gas her,” he commanded and typed the necessary authorization on the computer. The dark room filled with gas and soon enough Marzanna was laying on the ground, sound asleep. Or maybe not so sound. She curled up into a ball; the scanners of the room started to show something weird.   
“Sir, that’s-,“ the officer didn’t finish, perhaps because he didn’t know how to in the first place.  
“That’s energy,” Ken said, fascinated. The night vision device showed a whole lot of energy culminating in her body.   
“Can she, like-,” the officer looked at Ken worriedly, “explode?”  
“I don’t think so,” Ken uttered the words slowly, staring at her silhouette transfixed. Something was changing and he had a feeling it was a success.   
***   
Farah stood in the shadow of the forest, looking at the grey building, puzzled, holding tightly onto the sheets of paper with blueprints of the facility. She was desperately trying to hide that her hands were shaking and she was muttering the whole plan over and over to herself.   
Amanda made her way to her and looked her in the eyes.   
“The guys are getting impatient. We should go.”  
“This was a _terrible_ idea,” Farah groaned and shook her head. “It will _never_ work out.”  
“Cheer up, gun girl!” Gripps bumped her shoulder with his hand. “Nothing never not works out!”  
Farah frowned. “What…?”  
“Let’s go, boys,” Martin whispered and they all ran towards the fence surrounding the building.   
“_Shit_, wait,” Farah followed them with her gun drawn. Amanda and Beast were right behind her.   
The plan was that the Rowdy 3 were to eliminate the patrol at the gates and then cause a distraction in the main corridor, whereas Farah with Amanda and Beast were to snuck up behind them and enter the facility through an emergency exit.   
Except there was no one guarding the gates.   
“This is weird,” said Cross and with one good punch destroyed the lock on the gate. “Not complainin’ though!”  
Vogel punched the fence a couple of times with his baseball bat for good measure and followed the rest.   
“Something’s not right,” Farah muttered, walking through the gate. “Very not right.”  
There was no one in sight. The area seemed abandoned. They entered the building through the front door. It was locked, but Martin easily kicked the door down.   
The corridors were empty. The building really had been abandoned.   
***   
Assistent darted out of the control room calling for medical aid but suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks as Osmund Priest had suddenly appeared in front of him, as if out of nowhere. Lieutenant was always terrified of Priest; especially with this new scar straight across his face, which he wore like a trophy. Sometimes he’d wonder if Priest was even human; and if so, what on Earth happened to his conscience.   
“Don’t worry, Lieutenant,” he said in his frighteningly gentle voice. “I’m going to take care of this.”  
“Uh, I’m not sure-,” he begun, but Priest had already let himself into the room.  
“Help, plea-,” Dirk stopped and winced at the sight of the incomer.  
“Hello, Cjelli,” Priest smiled. “I’ve come to honour my promise.”  
He put his black suitcase on the table with a loud bang and opened it gently.   
“How about we have some fun, huh?” He took four guns in total and put them each separately and carefully on the surface. “The exercises you had so far were a little, how do I put it. Dull.”  
He closed the suitcase and put it on the floor. The guns all looked the same and were spread out in a line.   
“Now, you know the drill,” he said, crossing his arms. “You pick the gun. Only one’s not loaded. I shoot at your friend.”  
Dirk shook his head.   
“Well, you can shoot me instead,” he said, his voice a little more faint then he would have liked.   
Priest laughed, as if Dirk just told him a well-crafted pun.  
“My dear Svlad Cjelli,” he looked at him fondly. “I would love to, believe me. But apparently we need you alive, so. I’ll settle on your friend over there,” he pointed his chin at Todd.  
Dirk turned his back to Todd in a defensive position, kneeling on the floor next to him, still holding onto his hand. He felt his pulse – albeit faint – but for how long?  
“I’m not moving from here,” he stated explicitly. Priest bit his lip and nodded, seemingly with regret.  
“Okay.” He slowly made his way to him. Every muscle in Dirk’s body tensed but to no avail; it took Priest one punch to knock him out.   
He woke up just a while later, though tied up to the electric chair. Fear flashed through his face when he realized this.   
“Don’t worry, not gonna electrocute you,” Priest said, sitting on the table. “I think.”  
Dirk shot a glance at Todd; he was still unconscious, but seemed to be also still breathing. Which was not the worst turn of events.   
“So, it’s time,” Priest jumped off the table and waved at the guns. “Which one do I shoot?”  
Dirk swallowed. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t. He knew he was gonna choose wrong. He unwillingly shook his head.  
“No, but look,” Priest laughed. “If you don’t choose, I choose, which guarantees the bullet.”  
Dirk looked frantically between Todd and the guns.   
“The clock is ticking,” Priest sang.   
“Uhhh, the- the middle right one,” Dirk guessed at random. Priest gave him a hard look.   
“My right or your right?”  
“Yours.”  
“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows and Dirk groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.   
“Very well, then,” Priest picked up the chosen gun, aimed at Todd’s head and pulled the trigger.  
Milliseconds before he did though, Lieutenant Assistent turned on the intercom and his voice rose from the speakers at full volume.   
_ “The supervisor has contained the Marzanna situation.” _  
That comment happened to startle Priest a little bit, making his steady hand jump just slightly upwards. The bullet hit the wall, millimetres from Todd’s head.   
“_Damn_ you, Assistent, you _moron_!” Priest yelled and chucked the gun on the floor. “Don’t you see I’m fucking busy?!”  
_ “My apologies, sir, I thought you’d be interested in an update.” _  
“Actually,” Priest through clenched teeth, “I could _not_ care less right now. I still have my shot.” He picked the next gun, aimed and shot, but a bullet never showed up. Priest looked at the gun with a manic face and laughed to himself. “Okay,” he nodded, putting the gun down. “Very well.”  
Dirk sighed silently with relief. The adrenaline was buzzing through his veins and, to be frank, he was already heartily fed up with all of this, but Priest did not look like he was done. He picked up the guns and hid them in the briefcase; in turn he took out a tablet and proceeded to click vigorously on it for a while.  
“Can you-,” Dirk started weakly. “Can you please call for medics? Or- or someone to take care of Todd-“  
“Not before we’re done, Cjelli.” Priest answered, not honouring either of them with a glance. “Not before we’re done.”  
Bad feelings stirred up in Dirk’s stomach. He felt tears welling up in his eyes so he quickly blinked them away. Not here. Not now.  
Priest walked over to him, having apparently finished setting up whatever was going to ensue, and handed him the tablet.  
It was screens from security cameras from a building in which Dirk recognized familiar figures. Below the screens were three yellow buttons with red question marks on them.  
“I presume these are your friends,” Priest interposed negligently.   
And indeed they were; the figures Dirk saw were that of Farah, Amanda and the whole five of the rest of Rowdy 3. They seemed to be looking for something in the empty corridors.  
“I also presume they came with the intention of rescuing you. Unfortunately they failed to attain the information that Blackwing had changed facilities,” Priest laughed. “And here is your task. Each of these three buttons has a unique function. One of them will do nothing. That one would be lucky for you, I guess. One will blow the place up immediately. One will shut the doors to the building and slowly fill it up with hydrogen cyanide. Your decision, Svlad. And make it quick, because you know which choice would be mine. And I know which button to click,” he winked.   
Dirk blinked at the tablet.   
He had _no idea_ which button was right.  
He glanced at Todd, then at the glass wall. Help wasn’t coming from anywhere.  
He shut his eyes and swallowed, then opened them and clicked the button on the left.  
For a second, nothing happened. The figures on the screen raised their heads, as if they heard something.  
Then the screen went dark and just showed static.  
Dirk let go of the tablet which had dropped to the ground. Everything started to spin, all he could hear was Priest’s quiet laugh. Dirk came over faint. He felt heat on his face but cold sweat on his back. His vision started to blur. He let out a small groan and let go, falling into the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: General violence, shooting, self-deprecation, manipulation. I guess?  
Enjoy XDDD

Dirk opened his eyes.   
He was in a black room. No. Black world. There was nothing for miles, only black, metallic floor. The sky was a bit different shade of black; still black nevertheless. There was no stars, no moon, no clouds. Just plain blackness.   
Dirk stood up without effort. He checked himself. He was feeling light and perfectly okay. He noticed that his clothes were also black. He looked around.  
Where was he? Did he die? Didn’t seem like it. Although, how would he know how dying should seem like? Not that he’d ever done that before.   
He started to walk forward. The floor seemed soft and bouncy, like that gum-like ground at children’s playgrounds.   
He noticed he didn’t feel anything. No anxiety, no tension, no happiness nor sadness. Nothing. Everything seemed perfectly still and calm and-   
“Svlad Cjelli.”  
He froze. He would recognize this voice in any circumstances. He turned around to find Sergeant Riggins in front of him, looking cross and disappointed.   
“Svlad Cjelli,” he repeated.  
“That’s not my name anymore,” Dirk answered. “My name is-“  
“Stop fooling yourself,” Riggins looked tired. He made a step forward. “You were never good at anything, let alone being a _detective_.”  
It was just a sentence, but it struck him like a lightning from a clear sky. It hurt in his chest like an open wound that someone just kept touching and redoing.   
“You just rely on your abilities. So why do you keep saying you’re not a psychic? Why do you deny the existence your powers?”  
“I don’t-,” he faltered and looked down. “I’m not-.”  
“Face it, Svlad. You’re hopeless. You’re not good at what you do. Everyone just ends up hurt because of you.” In the middle of the sentence the voice changed. Dirk looked up to see Todd finishing it.  
“Todd-,” he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.   
“If not for you, I would live a perfectly normal life,” he said. “I wouldn’t get tortured to death. I wouldn’t get involved in some crazy shit like time travel or another dimensions where everyone wants to kill you. You promised me a reward, Dirk. You _promised_ it would all work out.”  
He closed his eyes in pain for a moment but when he opened them, Todd was gone. On his place stood Farah, looking at him with pain in her eyes.   
“You could have stopped it,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “You could have saved us. But you didn’t. _You_ pressed the wrong button. I don’t care if that’s not how it works, Dirk. You killed us.”  
The last sentence resonated within his mind for a good while, as he collapsed onto his knees, sobbing. He couldn’t take it anymore. For the first time in his life he found friends, true friends and he has let them all down. In the worst way possible.   
“What of it, then?” He heard his own voice above him. He looked up and saw himself, in his yellow jacket, looking down at himself with pity.   
“What of what?” He asked inanely.   
“Of your life. Of your purpose, Dirk.”  
He looked around and shrugged. He didn’t know. Seriously didn’t know.   
“I guess-,” he looked around then went back to his own face above him. “I guess it’s the end.”  
“Oh no, Dirk.” The other him kneeled before him and took his hand in his. “No. It’s just the beginning.”  
***   
Farah first heard the noise. Something beeping. Continuously. Then she heard a loud bang and cracks of electricity.   
“What happened?” She called out and ran to the source of the noise – Amanda and Vogle with his baseball bat and a broken machine in the wall beside them, still sparking.   
“Cameras,” Amanda said. “They were still working.”  
“Shit,” Farah cursed. “So they know we’re here.”  
“We gotta assume they do.”  
“Okay, we’re getting out of here,” Farah said and waved her hand to the rest of the rowdies.   
They safely got out of the building and to the gate. Farah suddenly stopped, raising a hand to stop the others behind her and drew her gun. She saw a white shape in the grass by the fence.  
“Who’s there?!” She called, walking towards the gate cautiously. The shape moved and turned around to reveal its face. “Mona?!”  
“Hi, Farah,” Mona, sitting on the grass in her human form, said with a faint voice. She was wearing a white dress and looked concerned. “Blackwing took Dirk and Todd.”  
“We know we- we tried to rescue them.”  
“Yeah, but they’re not here,” Mona made a sad face.   
“Do you know where they are?” Farah asked, putting her gun back in the holster.   
“Yes,” Mona nodded. “I can take you there.”  
“Okay,” Farah nodded too and took out her phone. “But we’re gonna need backup.”  
***   
The first thing Todd realized upon waking up, was pain. Just, all over his body. Everywhere. He groaned and tried to move his arm but it hurt. A lot. So he just settled on opening his eyes, which were one of the few of his body parts that did not hurt.   
It seemed he was in a hospital. He laid in a white hospital bed, with an IV connected to his wrist. Sure, he thought. He looked to his right and saw Dirk, laying on the bed with his eyes closed, but still in his jumpsuit.   
“Dirk,” Todd whispered. “Dirk!”  
Dirk opened his eyes and looked at him. For a moment he said nothing. Then he suddenly sat up, put his legs down on the ground and hid his face in his hands.  
“Hey, Dirk- What’s wrong?” Todd asked, realizing too late that many things are still in fact very wrong.  
“Everything.” He said flatly. “The universe.”  
“Can you- What’s going on? What happened?” Todd only remembered half of what was going on when he was in the chair but frankly, he would rather just forget all of it altogether.   
Dirk didn’t answer and the door opened to let Ken in. At the sight of him, Dirk jumped upwards, suddenly filled with his brand new energy.   
“Tell officer Brown to keep the military shooting practice for half an hour longer. Tell him that,” he said explicitly to Ken, who, at first surprised, now seemed mesmerized. “It is _absolutely crucial_ that he does that.”  
Ken nodded at an officer behind him to go do that. Dirk went further down the corridor and Ken followed him like enchanted. Dirk had a task and a place to be for each and every person he found on the way. Told one of the officers, that he should call his daughter right now to check if everything’s alright with her pregnancy. Told the other one that he left the drawer with his gun unlocked and his son is alone in the house. He went on a total holistic spree, Ken thought.   
He was astonished. And incredibly proud. He succeeded in his theory _and_ the practice, it all proved itself worthwhile. And at what cost? No one even had to die. Project Helios sure was close to that but they managed to save him.   
Suddenly his earpiece beeped.   
_ “There’s a problem, sir. You’re needed at the barrack square.” _  
He left Dirk to it then and hurried to the square.  
What he saw made the pride of his accomplishment fade a little.   
A power line crossing had its route above the square. Someone appeared to had shot the line which fell and electrocuted two people to death. He stood there blinking as officer Brown proceeded to explain what happened in detail, when he heard another voice in his earpiece.   
_ “Sir, there’s a report that the entire city of Seattle has lost power.” _  
***   
Assistent was in the Command room, filing some papers, when Dirk entered. He dropped the papers and frowned.   
“What are you doing here-“  
“Lieutenant Assistent, listen to me _very_ carefully,” Dirk took him by the shoulders. Assistent could not get a word out. “There’s an urgent message I need to send. Right now. It’s _very_ important.”  
“Yeah, okay, um-,” he tried to collect his thoughts as quickly as possible. “Well, uh, to whom?”  
“To the President of the United States,” Dirk stated and let go of Assistent’s shoulders. He took a deep breath and then realized what Dirk had said.  
“Wait- to the President-?”  
“Of the United States, yes, that is what I said,” Dirk nodded. “I need a channel of the utmost priority.”  
Assistent typed something into the computer.   
“And what is the message?”  
“Discovered the source of weird material – Russians. Highly dangerous. If Blackwing facility blows up, worst case scenario and red alarms.”  
Assistent’s fingers hesitated above the keyboard.  
“What?”  
“Ugh, give it to me,” Dirk ushered his to the side and started typing. Assistent assessed the situation quickly, drew his gun and put it to Dirk’s temple. He froze. “What are you doing?”  
“You can’t send this message,” Assistent said, his voice a bit trembling. He didn’t know if his choice is right; it was what his gut was telling him to do. “This would lead to a war. And that would lead to-.”  
“The destruction of our world,” Ken finished for him. He appeared at the doorstep of the Command room with a concerned look. Dirk turned around and looked quizzically between him and the Lieutenant.   
“Wasn’t that the whole point?” He asked with curiosity of a man who definitely does not have a gun put right to their temple. His voice changed too; he didn’t sound like himself. He turned to Ken. “Wasn’t that what you were going for? Keeping the tools that the universe used to create harmony, locked up? You think you’re, what? Smarter than the bloody universe? Well, this is what you got. You got the end of the world. There’s only so many times we can show you, you can’t keep us locked up. After a certain point, humans are just unable to understand.” With that, he quickly turned around and hit send.  
“Dirk, you have to understand-,” Ken started, but Dirk shook his head rapidly and turned back to Ken. Assistent lowered his gun as he realized it’s now pointless. He just stared at Dirk who seemed to be in some kind of a trance, madness glittering in his eyes.  
“No, _you_ have to understand. You don’t get to control this world. You don’t get to control us. We’re what keeps this world running. It’s like if you were trying to keep the hand of a clock in one place – it will always turn against you, because you may think it’s working, but it’s not. At least not in your favour.”  
“Can we stop it?” Assistent asked quietly. Dirk turned his eyes at him and gave him a long, hard look. Assistent saw an opportunity; raised his head higher and his voice grew stronger. “We can, right? I know we can, Dirk. I know you don’t want to destroy the world, not really. You have people you care about. Who care about you.” He saw Dirk’s expression change slightly; he seemed less sure about everything. “You’re a person, too.”  
***  
They met with Tina and Hobbs on the way to the real Blackwing. The travel took place in two cars and a van in total and they all stopped in a safe distance from the facility.   
“Farah!” Tina shouted as soon as she got out of the car and threw herself onto her, into a hug. Farah first was startled but then laughed and patted her back. “It’s so great to see you!”   
“You too, Tina.” She smiled to her. “Hi, Hobbs.”  
The rest of the greetings went quickly and Farah filled them in on the plan. Basically, the Rowdy 3 were supposed to cause a big distraction, marching down the main corridor. Amanda, Hobbs and Mona were to search the West wing, Farah and Tina the East one. As the plan was fairly easy, everyone got it fast and the Rowdy 3 were all now screaming and howling, preparing to _kick some ass_.   
They did as they planned, except the gates and the front door were not guarded.  
“What the hell?” Farah muttered under her nose. At least this building did not look abandoned – there were pieces of clothing and weapons lying around. Cross picked up a shotgun and entered the building, screaming and shooting at the walls. So it begun.   
Soldiers came out to meet them and the shooting ensued.   
Martin suddenly started sniffing the air on the left and waved for the rest to follow him. Farah and Tina managed to already find another way to the East wing, so they didn’t see that.  
Amanda, Beast and Vogle followed Martin as the rest was guarding the back. Mona disappeared somewhere. Martin finally stopped in front of a sealed door and exhaled.   
“Here.”  
Amanda and Hobbs went to the side as the Rowdy 3 tried their best to knock the door down. Amanda noticed an electricity box nearby and opened it. Looked at the cables for a while, then shot a puzzled glance at Hobbs. He only shrugged, so Amanda answered with a shrug too and ripped out the cables altogether.  
The light went out. The red emergency lamps on the walls turned on. And the door opened.   
They heard an inhuman screech for inside. Amanda took a step back, Hobbs stepped in front of her. Bart came out of the chamber, in ripped scraps of clothing and with sheer _madness_ in her eyes. She threw herself to fight with anything that she could – arms, legs, nails, teeth. Hobbs took Amanda by the arm and nudged her to run.   
“They’ll handle it!” He shouted. “We have to find Todd and Dirk!”  
Amanda hesitantly agreed and left the Rowdies and Beast behind to deal with Bart, who was still screeching terrifyingly.   
It didn’t take them long to do – Martin finally knocked her out for a long enough moment for the Rowdies to gather around her and finally feed on her energy. When they were done, she just stayed on the ground, unconscious.  
Amanda and Hobbs managed to get to the deeper part of the wing and felt they were lost. Too many white corridors that looked exactly the same. Fortunately, Mona appeared in front of one of the doors as a blue arrow pointing at it. Hobbs opened it to see Todd with burns all over his arms and face, lying on the hospital bed.   
“Todd!” Amanda exhaled and darted to his side. He opened his eyes and frowned.  
“Amanda?” He asked with disbelief. “What- No, I’m-“  
“Jesus, what happened to you?” She looked horrified at the burns. “What did they do to you?”  
“Yeah, long story, uh-,” he blinked hard, trying to fully wake up. “Are you really here?”  
“Yeah, we came to save you, dumbass,” Amanda rolled her eyes. “Where’s Dirk?”  
“Dirk-“ Todd looked around. “They did something bad to him. I think. He acted weird. Went all holistic on everyone. I have a really bad feeling about it.”  
“Okay, we gotta get you to the car,” Hobbs said. “Farah and Tina have to find Dirk then.”  
And they well did. Completely by accident, drawn only by the noise, they found the Command room and stopped at the doorstep, just where a while ago stood Ken. He was gone now though.   
“Dirk!” Farah called, but a laugh drew Dirk’s attention somewhere else.   
Priest came in through a back door and handed Dirk a device with buttons which did not look very friendly. Farah and Tina exchanged confused looks, as Assistent stared at everything, terrified.   
“I regret to inform everyone involved that this place is about to be blown up,” said Dirk in an informal manner. No one managed to say anything more. Dirk put his thumb on the button and suddenly Ken’s arms holding a gun appeared between Farah and Tina. The roar of the gun deafened them and the bullet lodged in Dirk’s chest.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: blood and I think that's it?  
Also I do have this headcanon that Farah is the ultimate mom friend so watch out.

Christopher Johnson was as usual of a white person as you can get. If you looked at a photo average of how a white man looks, he would probably look almost exactly the same. He had a wife and two children in high school, he was a catholic who worshipped gym infinitely more than church and he had a small, pretty house with a white picket fence. His wife had just bought a new picture to hang on the wall with the quote “Live. Laugh. Love.”, his son was a jock, one of the more popular at school and his daughter was titled Miss of the homecoming this year.   
The only difference that was separating him from the rest of his neighbourhood was his work at a top secret government facility code-named Blackwing.   
The day had promised to be a normal, chill kind of day. The only work he had for this day was to run some analysis of the blood samples taken from the subjects and he was free to go home. His wife had promised to make him mac and cheese and, since it was Friday, they could freely watch the new episodes of The Bachelor till late. He was halfway done with the task, when a British guy who wore a jumpsuit with one of the Blackwing subjects’ symbols stormed into the room and pointed at him.   
“You,” he started with determination. “You need to go back home right now.”  
“What?” Chris turned to him with warily. “Who are you?”  
“I got the supervisor’s clearance,” he flashed a card at him proudly. “And the order is that you need to leave whatever you’re doing right now and go check on your wife.”  
Then he left. Chris shrugged. He did have the clearance to give orders, so he packed his things, got into his car and went back home, wondering what on Earth “checking on his wife” meant.  
He realized what when he walked into the house. He noticed a man’s shoes that did not belong to him and heard laughs in the bedroom. He stormed in to find his wife and his friend kissing, half naked on the bed. He threw himself onto the man, yelling something about a “motherfucking asshole”. His wife screamed, startled and jumped off the bed. She tried to separate the men but one of them pushed her back. She lost her balance and hit her head on the corner of the bed. She then stayed on the ground, blood from her head making a pool on the floor.   
Chris calmed from his blinding anger when his friend was already dead on the floor with Chris’ hands still clenched on his throat. Chris got up and looked petrified at the scene in the room.   
“Fuck,” he whispered.  
He rolled out of the house, stupefied, not watching his steps. He tripped on the stairs outside and rolled onto the floor, just under the wheels of a school bus.  
It wasn’t the only one instance that this kind of troubling events happened. All over Seattle and a couple of nearby towns similar accidents took place – all in one way or another initiated by Blackwing personnel completing the tasks given to them by Dirk Gently.  
***   
Dirk fell to the floor with an expression of shock on his face. The device fell with him. Assistent was the first person to emerge from the overall shock and lunged for the device. Tina darted to Dirk’s side as Farah followed her backwards, aiming her gun in turns at Ken and at Priest.   
“Dirk! Oh my God, Farah-ah,” Tina cried out, checking his pulse. He was bleeding heavily, but the bullet hit his shoulder just above the heart. Dirk was blinking in shock with his mouth open, breathing shallowly.   
“Put pressure on the wound,” Farah ordered through her shoulder, facing the two men.   
“So what now, miss Black?” Priest made a step forward but stopped when Farah aimed her gun at him. “You gonna shoot me?”  
“Possibly,” she said through gritted teeth.   
“Then he shoots you,” Priest pointed his head at Ken, aiming his gun at Farah.  
“Sir,” Assistent slipped into the conversation shyly, his face pale. “Why- Why are you still fighting them? The plan failed.”  
Priest scoffed and looked at Ken, only now noticing that his face was full of doubt.  
“You’re right,” he said quietly and dropped his gun to the ground. He looked at the ground, processing. “It was never going to work. It never will.”  
“Come on, now, Ken,” Priest tilted his head, turning to him. “We’ve been working on this for so long. You can’t give up now.”  
“Boys.” They heard a low voice at the door and saw Martin with the rest of Rowdy 3 staring angrily at Priest. “Bad news delivery.”  
Ken managed to clear the way before all four of them attacked Priest at once. They didn’t kill him. They beat him up for good measure and then, when he was sitting on the floor, bleeding, they gathered around him and fed on his energy till he was dead. Ken looked at this with horror as Farah tried to ignore it and aimed her gun at him. Beast jumped up to Dirk and, seeing all the blood and sweat on his skin, she started to wail. Tina looked up at Assistent who looked fairly dumbfounded.  
“Are you with us?” She asked. Assistent hesitated before he answered.   
“I- I think?”   
“Okay, we need to get him to the hospital,” Tina tried to simultaneously put pressure on his wound and put one of his arms over her shoulder.   
“Wait,” Assistent put away the device, pulling out the batteries beforehand, and clicked something quickly on the computer. He sighed with relief. “The message didn’t receive the clearance.”  
“What message?” Tina frowned. “No, never mind. Help me.”  
They both pulled Dirk up and looked at Farah who was still aiming at Ken.   
“What am I supposed to do with you?” She asked. Ken, instead of looking at her, stared at the door with mild fright.   
“Leave him to me.” Farah turned her head to see Bart staring back at Ken.   
“Okay,” she said with slight relief and nodded at Tina and Assistent to go first. Beast followed them, now just looking very sad and concerned, and muttering something only she could understand.   
Bart watched them disappear in the corridor. Then she turned to Ken.  
“You betrayed me,” she noted emotionlessly.  
“I did,” said Ken faintly. “I wanted to see what your full abilities were. But I see now, this is not my discovery to make. I was wrong.”  
Bart saw tears glittering in his eyes. She made a step forward.   
“You turned me into a killing machine.”  
Regret flashed through Ken’s face.   
“I’m sorry,” he said. Bart looked him in the eyes. She made a fist and punched him in the face.  
“I believe you,” she stated, watching him get up from the floor, holding his cheek. “You captured me but I did capture you first, so. I guess we’re now even.”  
Ken raised his eyebrows.  
“So… you’re not gonna kill me?”  
“Nah,” she said, shrugging. “I think the universe forgave you.”  
Ken stood there, frozen. Bart looked at him.   
“And if you’re back to normal,” she started. “Maybe you want to go follow the universe with me?”  
***   
Dirk woke up with an acute pain in his left shoulder.  
Am I collecting shot wounds?, he thought. He already had two scars from the electric arrows that Men of the Machine had shot him with. He guessed another one was joining the collection. He also noted a terrible headache.  
He opened his eyes, feeling someone’s vague presence near him.  
He expected Todd or Farah, definitely did not expect Lieutenant Assistent sat on the chair by his bed.   
“Hello?” He said, pulling him out of his reverie. He looked at him with relief in his eyes.   
“Hi, Dirk,” he said, smiling faintly. “Good to see you awake.”  
“What- uh,” he realized asking him what he was doing here might seem a bit rude, so he changed the concept. “Where am I? Where’s Todd?”  
“You’re in the hospital,” he informed. “Seattle hospital. Blackwing has been officially disbanded.”  
Dirk raised his eyebrows.   
“And Todd is safe. So is the rest of your friends. They should be here in a while,” he smiled sadly and reached into his bag. “I just- I wanted to give you this.”  
He pulled out a folder full of papers and disks. The front had the symbol of project Icarus on it. Dirk felt his heart skip a beat at this sight.   
“You can do whatever with it. But I thought maybe you want to read it. It’s everything Blackwing has collected on you through the years,” Assistent put the folder on the bedside table and rubbed his arm.   
“Thank you.” Dirk stared at the folder for a while with mixed feelings. It was a matter for another time.   
“Are you-,” Assistent started but stopped to lick his lips nervously. “How are you feeling?”  
Dirk blinked and shrugged, therefore causing an acute wave of pain from his shoulder. He hissed.   
“Painy.”  
“I meant- er, mentally.”  
Dirk frowned.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, last time we saw you conscious, you were trying to end the world,” Assistent shrugged defensively. “I wanted to make sure you’re, er, back to normal.”  
“I feel pretty normal,” he assessed. “Definitely not like ending the world.”  
“Okay, good.” Assistent nodded, looking around the room. Dirk tilted his head.  
“You seem extremely tense,” he observed. “Are _you_ okay?”  
“Well,” Assistent sighed and looked down, embarrassed. “I just wanted to tell you, Dirk. You’re a fascinating person. And I- I kinda wish you were a part of my life.”  
Dirk stared at him for a moment processing the words.   
“But uh, I just wanted to tell you. Don’t have to do anything with this information, I’m just gonna-,” he pointed at the door and got up. “I’m just gonna go.”  
He turned around and walked away. A thought of calling him back occurred to Dirk but he didn’t act on it; he wouldn’t know what to say. So he just watched Assistent walk away with a mix of feelings he couldn’t quite name.  
***   
Dirk was allowed to leave the hospital three days later. Farah drove him back to the agency and helped him settle on the couch when Todd walked into the flat with a bag of groceries.   
“I told you I would get groceries,” Farah said as a greeting. Todd rolled his eyes and put the bag on the kitchen counter.   
“We’re not dying, Farah. I’m fine.”  
“You’ve had five attacks in three days, Todd,” Farah said hardly. “And your leg isn't fully healed either. You _need_ to rest.”  
“Excuse, excuse, _what_??” Dirk blinked and looked at Todd, who just shrugged.   
“It got a bit worse. But I’m fine.”  
“No, you’re not,” Farah crossed her arms and took the keys from Todd’s hand. “I’m grounding the both of you. No leaving the house for the next week. And you,” she pointed angrily at a vase with fresh sunflowers, “don’t even dare turning into a spare key to the door. I _will_ know.”  
Dirk chuckled.   
“Congratulations on good intentions, Farah, but that’s not Mona.” He significantly patted a yellow fluffy cushion sitting next to him. Farah just rolled her eyes.   
“Take care of yourself, for God's sake, both of you.” She pointed a finger at them and walked out.  
Dirk laughed quietly and silence fell upon the room. Todd was looking at Dirk with vague emotions painting on his face. Dirk looked away, suddenly embarrassed.   
“I recon you want to talk-,”  
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Todd assured him, sitting down on a chair. “But I do have a question. What happened to you? You know, then.”  
He knew when. Everything that happened after he woke up felt like a crazy fever dream.   
“I was- overcome with the universe. It’s like- like it took control over me. Like I really was a leaf in the stream of creation. Except it was destruction instead.”  
They’ve heard of all the accidents that happened all over the state.   
“So many people have died…” Dirk looked down and bit his lip. “You know it was me.”  
“Was it, though?” Todd looked at him intently. “Or was it the universe?”  
“It doesn’t matter,” Dirk suddenly snapped, hiding his face in his hands and winced at the pain inflicted by the movement. “I killed these people.”  
“Dirk-,” Todd got up but Dirk continued.  
“I thought I had killed Farah. And your sister! I could’ve killed them! I almost killed you-,” his voice cracked. Todd sat on the couch beside him and put his arm over his shoulders.  
“It wasn’t you. None of this was your fault. And we’re all alive. It’s okay now,” he rubbed his back.   
“It’s not, Todd.” He looked him in the eye. Their faces were very close. “Your pararibulitis got worse. You're _hurt_. And who knows what long-lasting effects these electrocutions might have-?”  
“Hey, Dirk,” Todd grabbed his shoulder softly. “If I was gonna die of electrocutions, that would have happened a long time ago. I’m practically immune now,” he laughed softly. “My point is, nothing bad actually happened. Blackwing stopped existing. The universe is back on track – hopefully. Bart and Ken are apparently happily road tripping and- well, doing whatever they were doing. Tina and Hobbs are safely back in Bergsberg and no one has any problems with the law, which is quite surprising to be honest. But we’re fine. We’re okay.” He looked him closely in the eyes.   
Dirk frowned and looked back down.   
“I’m sorry, Todd,” he said quietly. “I know you’re right.” He swallowed. Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered the exercises he faced in Blackwing. He remembered Todd’s exhausted look and his muscles twitching and Priest’s bullet hitting the wall, so close to his head. He looked at him through tears. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”  
Todd exhaled with sympathy, putting his hand lightly on Dirk’s leg.   
“I’m still here,” he assured. Dirk shook his head, still lost in his dark imaginings of a life without Todd.  
“I mean- you’re my best friend, you’re- I-,” he sighed and shut his eyes at his inability to form a sentence and rubbed his face.   
“It’s okay, I understand,” Todd said, but Dirk rapidly shook his head.  
“No, Todd, it’s that-,” he took a shaking breath and, not looking at him, he said, “it’s that I think I’m in love with you.”  
There was silence for a split second.   
“I mean, uh, I don’t want things to get weird,” Dirk said, still looking anywhere but at Todd. “So don’t feel any pressure, in fact, you don’t even have to answer at all! I just needed to get it out, but now it’s out and we can just forget all about it like it never happened, right?” He looked carefully at Todd, who looked him straight in the eyes.   
“I love you, too, Dirk,” he simply said. Dirk sighed with surprise and relief.  
“You do?”  
“Yeah,” Todd smiled and shrugged. “For a long while, actually.”  
Dirk’s smile gradually got bigger and bigger with every second. He wiped a tear that managed to slip from his eye and caught Todd’s hand. Todd hugged him carefully, not to touch his wound. He felt the warmth of his body and the smell of his shampoo. He touched his neck and run his fingers through his hair. He felt Dirk smile. He neared his lips to Dirk’s and stopped.  
“Can I?” He whispered and Dirk caught his chin and kissed him. It took them a while before they separated.   
“Thank you for being here, Todd,” Dirk said. “Astounding assisting on your part.”  
Todd laughed.   
“Will you promote me back to a ward?” He asked with his eyebrows raised.   
“Even better,” Dirk grinned. “I’m promoting you to my boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone who read it!! I wanted to say I'm sorry for all the angst, but that would be a lie. Eventually everything is fine so it's all good :33   
Also thanks to my friends for helping me with research and all the weird things I asked them while writing, love y'all XDD  
(There might be a bonus fluff coming if this gets some attention ^.^)  
Have a great day, lads!


End file.
